We’ve all done it…..started something with great hopes and then either not finished or didn’t get the results we wanted. Then we start to believe it isn’t possible, that we can’t do it, that we’re not good enough. And we give up.
So what happens here? It might be a time management issue, it might be that you lack the “stick to it-ness” to finish a project. But I think, a lot of it has to do with not believing in the outcome and your ability, and not keeping your thoughts in the positive. Can you relate?
I’ve worked with a lot of people, many successful and some not, in the area of lifestyle change and weight management. One common denominator in those that succeeded is their attitude. Successful people are more positive and believe in their own success.
Why is that such a big determining factor? Think about it. The energy that you put out comes back to you, affects your actions, affects your beliefs and affects your results. So if you sink into a negative belief, negatives will surround you, you’ll stumble and won’t be able to get up. You quit, believing it’s not possible.
The idea of like attracting like isn’t some voodoo, hocus pocus thing. It’s a part of many traditions. The Bible is full of messages about reaping what one sows. Meditation helps us to focus on the now so to keep our thoughts and energy in a positive place. Keeping thoughts and beliefs in a positive vein will result in more positivity.
So how do you get to the place of feeling positive when everything is going badly? It really is a discipline. It’s learning and practicing. I have learned this in the past 5 years after a divorce. It’s so easy to slip into negative self talk after a life event like that. There were lots of eager little demons trying to take over with thoughts of “I’m not good enough,” “I have failed,” or “I’m never going to find a life partner.” I finally made it to a good place but knew I wanted a life partner.
I went on SO MANY dates, had SO MANY conversations but nothing really settled in. I had to believe that I would find my man. I had to return to positive thoughts after awkward dates or no dates. I had to handle rejection without taking it personally. When I would waiver from the positive, I had great friends and family who would steer me back there!
I did a lot of personal development and spent time focusing on fun things…….videos of my grandson, watching fun movies, writing about fun things that I enjoyed, being mindful of the little things in my date that made me happy, and writing in detail what I wanted my future mate to be like.
I found my man! And he has every trait that I wrote about him. It wasn’t instant, it wasn’t always easy but our paths crossed in a perfect way. In perfect timing.
What can you do to help you stay positive? These are things that helped me.
- Personal Development – reading books, articles, listening to Youtube lectures, Ted talks, anything that helps you be more aware of what you’re telling yourself and where your thoughts go through out the day. I listened to a lot of Youtube videos from Abraham-Hicks, I read books by Tony Robbins and Brene’ Brown. Learning and growing has to be a part of your life if you’re going to move in the direction you want. This will keep you on track to your success.
- Visualization – Write about, describe, cut out pictures, day dream about how you want things to be. If you’re wanting to lose weight, describe in detail (or with pictures) how you want to look, how you want to feel, what you want to do, what you want to wear, what you want to eat, who you want to hang out with. Be specific.
- Stop negative self talk – this is crucial. When you start to unload how terrible your day was to friends or bring up conflicts that happened during the day, that is only reinforcing the negative thoughts and feelings. When you beat yourself up for your actions, that is reinforcing how badly you feel about yourself. Make a decision to stop doing that. You won’t be able to instantly, but you can decrease it and start focusing more on positive self talk and conversations with friends/family. If something unpleasant happens to you, start practicing how to change your focus. It just takes doing it.
- Affirmations – find little messages that make you feel better. Maybe you’re noticing a difference in your energy level even though the scale hasn’t moved. Focus on the energy. Maybe you enjoy a friend at work even though you don’t like a project you’re working on. Focus on how fun the friend it. Tell yourself short messages about how you’re improving or doing something well. Give yourself encouragement. I would tell myself over and over that “things are always working out for me” even though I would be in the middle of a crises. And things eventually would work out!
Your thoughts and beliefs play such an important part in your life. Guard them carefully. Nurture them daily. It will change your life and your dreams and goals will gradually become real!
If you’d like to share your thoughts about this, please message me at